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February 24th, 2008


06:42 pm - Tina Fey is back. Also, just as intelligent as she was BEFORE the strike. Imagine that.
Because I saw it in person (because I am insane enough) and because Tina Fey is wise and awesome, and because I agree with her-- not because she is Tina Fey, but because she makes a hell of a lot of sense.



Transcribed:

And finally, the most important Women’s News item there is, we have our first serious female presidential candidate in Hillary Clinton. And yet, women have come so far as feminists, that they don’t feel obligated to vote for a candidate just because she’s a woman. Women today feel perfectly free to make whatever choice Oprah tells them to. Which raises the question, why are people abandoning Hillary for Obama? Some say that they’re put off by the fact that Hillary can’t control her husband, and that we would end up with co-presidents. ‘Cause that would be terrible, having two intelligent, qualified people working together to solve problems. Ugh.
Why would you let Starsky talk to Hutch? (I wanna watch that show, Starsky.) You know, what is it, America? What is it, are you weirded out that they’re married? ‘Cause I can promise you that they are having exactly as much sex with each other as George Bush and Jeb Bush are.

Then there is the physical scrutiny of her physical appearance. Rush Limbaugh, the Jeff Conaway of right wing radio, said that he doesn’t think America is ready to watch their president quote “turn into an old lady in front of them.” Really? They didn’t seem to mind when Ronald Reagan did that.

Maybe what bothers me the most is that people say that Hillary is a bitch. Let me say something about that: Yeah, she is. And so am I and so is this one. (pointing to Amy Poehler)

AMY POEHLER: Yeah, deal with it.

TINA FEY: Know what? Bitches get stuff done. Like back in grammar school, they could have had priests teaching you, but no, they had those tough old nuns who slept on cots and who could hit you, and you HATED those bitches! But at the end of the school year, you KNEW the capital of Vermont!

So, COME ON Texas and Ohio. Get on board, it's not too late!

BITCH IS THE NEW BLACK!

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February 7th, 2008


07:23 pm - Seriously, republicans?
WASHINGTON - John McCain effectively sealed the Republican presidential nomination on Thursday as chief rival Mitt Romney suspended his faltering campaign. "I must now stand aside, for our party and our country," Romney told conservatives.

"If I fight on in my campaign, all the way to the convention, I would forestall the launch of a national campaign and make it more likely that Senator Clinton or Obama would win. And in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign, be a part of aiding a surrender to terror," Romney told the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington.
----
< Begin Political Rant/Hatred of The Republican Party >

As I said before, not going to lie---I'm a big fan of Hillary's. Quite frankly, I've been wanting her to run for president since high school (which was...almost as many moons ago as John Hughes, Star Trek The Next Generation, and cell phones the size of wall-units.)

In short, I think she's brilliant, driven, well-spoken, and I think her platform is solid. Particularly, I'm impressed with her ideas on health care. (Also, if I hear Barack Obama using the word "change" coupled with yet another adverb-laden haiku just one more time-- without backing it up with some serious outline, platform, or plan, I'm going to scream. I mean, I like the guy, and I think, from reading up on him, he has some good ideas, but...seriously? I'm an English major. I know the tricks of BS. And I've watched several debates now. And I still have yet to hear him say, "This is HOW I am going to change health care," as opposed to, "I am all about change! Now is the time for change! Stand with me and stand for change! Do you like change? Do you have change? I have a little change. I like change, especially nickels. Change will change the country!" Enough with the Caroline Or Change, Tonya! Piss or get off the pot already.

In any case, what a sad, sad commentary on the state of our nation--or what has happened to it under the Bush regime--when someone who has been in support of Hillary Clinton ever since the 90's is a hair away from hoping the other democratic presidential candidate will win, simply because she feels the other candidate has a better shot of beating the republicans. And you know something? I'm not even a registered Democrat or Republican--I'm an Independent. Why? Because I think a douchebag is a douchebag regardless of party affiliation. Even still, I'd vote for a head of lettuce before I'd vote for another republican. Or one like McCain, who will continue the Iraq war indefinitely, let more troops die, sink all of our money into the military, watch our country go further and further into debt, blow off health care, education, and everything else that needs money more than the motherfucking military-- all to protect the flagging reputation of a party that has no idea how to rebound from the endless well of idiocy that was George W. Bush's run in office.

You know, I simply do not understand this mentality. I do not understand how it is even defensible. Frankly, If I wanted the white house to be run by war-happy Ass Ornaments , I'd elect my cousin Mark, who keeps twenty muskets and a live canon in his basement and thinks the word "civil" only exists as a noun coupled with the word "war."

So there you have it, my new campaign slogan for 2008: "Anyone But A Republican." You think I should print bumper stickers and buttons?
< /political rant >
< Begin Puppies and Sunshine >
< /Puppies and Sunshine >

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February 5th, 2008


09:14 pm - Why today is so important.
By ERIN McCLAM, AP National Writer
22 minutes ago

She had a 13-hour window to vote in the Arizona presidential primary, but Mona Reese decided she couldn't wait. She didn't even brush her teeth or change out of her pajamas before leaving home.

She found herself in line before dawn at the fellowship hall of a Methodist church in Phoenix, excitedly waiting to cast a ballot for Sen. Barack Obama. Later she clutched her "I Voted Today" sticker as if it were a winning lottery ticket.

"I literally just woke up," she said, apologizing for tousled hair and a makeup-free face. "I'm so sorry. It's that important. To wake up at 5:45 in the morning to get down here and vote."

The enthusiasm was not uncommon on a day like no other in American politics, a scramble of primaries and caucuses that went coast-to-coast — and beyond, to the South Pacific island of American Samoa.Collapse )

See what happens when Oprah goes to a political rally?

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August 9th, 2006


03:31 am - What to say?
How do I even describe the past week? the absolute over-the-falls insanity of it all? The strange but gratifying clarity? The things fixed and the things that will never be fixed? The realization that no matter where your heart is, you can't go around fixing everything? (Unless of course you're a computer technician, in which case you HAVE to fix everything if you want to get paid... unless of course you work for Mac, or Roadrunner, or Dell, or Best Buy, or Cicruit City, or really, any place I've ever brought a computer to get fixed, because after I bring home the fucker, it is actually sicker and angrier than it was before, kind of like Tara Reid when she has the Herp, and when I complain to the techs about this, they just shrug and tell me that there's nothing they can do. And meanwhile, they are text messaging one another from across the store or or talking to each other in Klingon or something, and I am all, "What about my FUCKING computer, huh?" And they are all, "Bitch, get out of our store before we CUT you." Which is when I scream, "NO, I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU FOR A GOOD PRICE ON A NEW DVD DRIVE!", and in the commotion of people trying to figure out where this supposed-hooker is and who she might be, I get the hell out of there and I steal some of their coaxial cables, too, those BASTARDS.)

Where was I?

Oh. Yes. So anyway, I found this song at work, and I really liked it.

STORY
By Judd and Maggie

As cold as they come, I need to hear stories;
what has been finished in people like me.
And I've often wondered how good stories end.
The closer, the more I'm impressed.
I try, like the rest, to write my own story.
But somehow, your pen gets in the way.
And I've often wondered how nothing compares,
watching the night be repaired.
As pilgrims we come and we need to hear stories
that offer a memory; of virtue, of love.
And I've often wondered how after we mend
we'll all see how good stories end.

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October 14th, 2005


03:44 pm - Really, Christine. Never dare me to do anything.
Behind the cut. Something Jaime never does, ever, EVER, but thinks may be a better alternative to poking her eyeballs out with the orange-handled scissors on a rainy, boring friday afternoon at work. If you think you might want to FRIEND me on LJ, you may want to read this shit first, yo.Collapse )

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May 24th, 2005


02:34 am - You ARE the weakest link. Goodbye.
Ah, remember that ugly, waspy British woman? It's been years since we've heard from her, hasn't it? I hear she's working a pizza parlor now. But also, (in case you didn't know,) she's the new voice-over for my live journal. I'm actually paying her in Pez and Orieda french fries, and apparently, this is a good deal in England, where they all drive tiny little wind-up cars and look like SUPERNANNY. Or something like that.

So let's get down to it. This journal is now FRIENDS ONLY. Why? Because I have decided I don't like any of you fuckers anymore. No, kidding. It's actually because I see no reason to allow certain people access to any part of my life, or the lives of my friends, even in journal form. You know who you are. And you are CUT OFF. So many ways and so many languages I could explain that, (I've been brushing up on my German, recently,) but I think this pretty much says it all. Don't you?

Actually, I think this friends-cut can be most aptly summed up in one statement: a wise old blonde lady very recently said to me, "some things are just for us, just for us friends to share." I think she's right. But she often is.

If you want to be added to my friends list, feel free to comment. Let me know who you are, why you want to be added, and whether or not you can balance a plate on your head while drinking an apple martini.

The Great Wizard of Oz has spoken.

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